Less nerves, more brain.

The title sums up day 2 of anatomy class. Pardon the lame pun. I was definitely less nervous Friday than the Friday before. I think that was mostly due to the lack of a math test. I was also far more prepared. I spent so many hours last week working on chapters 1 and 2 in the text and I memorized the lab work easily. I was a bit discouraged in the first few minutes of class, though, when I realized I had misunderstood what the teacher had said about the quiz. I thought there would be a 5 question quiz first thing in lecture. Apparently, it was a quiz first thing in lab. I knew the lab so I wasn't worried about that, but I was very bothered by the fact that I could misunderstand something like that. What if next time, I misunderstand something significant? Now I'm worried.

Also, how the teacher lectures is starting to concern me. I read chapter 2 twice because it was a bit complicated and I wanted to really understand it before lecture so I could follow her as she spoke. I felt I was ready since the syllabus clearly said she would be lecturing over chapter 2. But as she spoke, she was casually throwing in things that I knew were not in chapter 2 and it went right over my head. During the break I searched the text and found a lot of what she said was in chapters 3 and 4. She's mixing all of chapters 1-4 into her lecture at the same time and totally confusing me. You see, she doesn't teach so much as sum up. Her style makes me feel like what she is saying is something I should already be aware of rather than something she wants me to begin to understand. I try to take notes while she talks, but it's hard to know what to write when she throws out something new. I don't know what's important or how to classify or organize it in my notes. Fortunately, the text is moderately understandable...if I read it three times and explain it out loud to Jason while he pretends to care.

Speaking of Jason, he kindly brought me some Chick-fil-A for lunch in between lecture and lab. I showed him the student center and where my lecture hall and lab are and pointed out my teacher and some of the students. I felt like a kid showing my patronizing daddy around kindergarten. "This is my desk and this is where we go potty and I made this out of popsicle sticks in art..."

In lab, I turned in my simple worksheet "homework" and took the 7 (not 5) question quiz. Again, she was a little confusing with her orally-given questions, but I managed to get all 7 points and 5 of 5 points on the worksheet. For those of you keeping track, that is 12 of the 1000 points in the class. I need 910 points for an A. It's a start.

We learned about microscopes, cell parts and cell division in lab. All of the cell organelles are a bit overwhelming since I have no life experience with cell organelles from which to glean. The same is true for the steps in cell mitosis. It is vaguely familiar but also new at the same time. I really pushed my brain for two hours. When I finally stopped and walked out, my brain felt dull, almost numb and heavy, like knowledge has actual weight to it.

I spent at least an hour, maybe two, Saturday and an hour today reading chapter three and finishing up the lab. This is going to require a lot of time and energy, but I'm willing to do it. I have no doubt that if I keep this up, I will get an A. What I'm worried about is whether or not my conviction and drive will stay strong or if I will get burnt out a long the way.