I am here, late Friday night, to report on my first day of school. I knew my entire fan base would be anxiously awaiting some news. (Both of you.) So, have at it:
Yes, I was scared. Let's just get that out of the way early.
I arrived at school at 8:35am. I was a bit early but I didn't know where I was going. The parking lot was much fuller now so I parked in the back and entered an area with which I was completely unfamiliar. This is a relatively small building, yet I can't seem to get my bearings here. I headed to the library in the opposite corner of the school and had my student ID made. So, if nothing else, I had accomplished something. Then I went searching for my class.
Room 344, as it turns out, is a lecture hall seating around 80 or so students. At 8:45 there were already 20 people there. I found a seat in my normal place in any classroom, middle of the second row. The chairs were padded and swiveled out from the table like a McDonald's seat. If I put any pressure on it I fell back almost flat. Not good for note-taking.
Another non-traditional student sat next to me and introduced herself. I liked her immediately, though she is probably 15 years older than me. We talked until our teacher decided to get things going. Pam, the teacher, said to call her Pam. I'm not sure I can do that. I've never done that. I don't even call my kid's teacher by her first name. Anyway, Mrs. Pam is tall, skinny and professional. She seems sort of tough and cold but I like her. For some reason I find it easy to tune into her voice. She doesn't have notes to present as she lectures, which is hard for me to get used to. She did, however, give us a very detailed exam guide right away that follows the lecture precisely. She went over the syllabus and some rules. There is always some stuff about attendance being important and all that and I never cared because I knew I would always be there. This time, though, when we talked about the importance of attendance and punctuality, I became really nervous. I have kids and a life now. Things happen.
I have two chapters to read by next Friday. Cool. And an hour into class, I realized the back of my seat was adjustable.
On a side note, I checked my cheap textbook with the expensive one. Other than the cover, it is identical. Ha, system. I beat you.
Lunch time at 11am. I walked down the stairs with the crowd and somehow ended up outside. I turned back inside and found the bottom of the stairwell went nowhere but out. Is this one of those optical illusions? I went back up to the third floor and back down another way, feeling like a complete dork. I finally made my way to the student center to eat for the first and last time. It stunk of old people food. You know that smell. I decided a turkey sub would be a good, harmless decision. I paid $4.32 for a small turkey sandwich with a bunch of white lettuce, tomatoes, and two halves of a slice of american cheese on a white hoagie bun with a generic mayonnaise packet. No sides. No drink. No flavor. No more. I called Jason to complain. No wonder there were maybe 5 people there.
I used the bathroom and then found my lab, Room 304. This room is a little cramped. I picked a good spot though, since my teacher spent most of the time with the models right behind me. I had a good view, but couldn't take notes. Fortunately, everything is in the lab manual and on the sheets she gave us. We went over a ton of anatomy terms. I loved it. I knew about half of them and picked up most of the rest quickly. Then we spent the rest of the time filling in the blanks on our own. I finished up at 1:45 and walked out.
My first day of class was done but when I got out into the hallway, my nervousness doubled. Now I had to head to the other building and prove to the world that I, a former math teacher, did not need a math class despite my 9 year hiatus from thinking. The kid behind the desk gave me a lock and key and I put my stuff in a locker. She then led me to a computer with two #2 pencils, one sheet of paper, and calculator they got for free in a cereal box. It had about 5 buttons.
I almost failed the student background questions. It took me 5 minutes just to find "nursing" in the list. I almost panicked, twice. It then asked me how certain I was. I'm not sure anymore. I apprehensively filled out the rest of my personal info and made it to the actual test. The first question made no sense. It was basic math. I hate basic math. I need variables. I took what seemed like forever on the first several questions, going over them and over them, making sure I was thinking the right thing before I would commit to a click. Once answered, there was no going back. I hate commitment. Then the screen went blank and my heart skipped a beat. I must have missed enough for the test to end. Oh no...then a question with a variable popped up. Awesome, I moved up a level. I started to pick up speed. I liked these questions. Then the screen went blank and I held my breath...more algebra. Yeah! Bring it! I could do this all night. I was really working it. Then the screen went blank and my confidence wavered for a fraction of a second. Then I got it, some Trigonometry. That was my finish line, as far as I was concerned. I would just ride this wave home. I didn't practice any trig and I didn't care. I remembered "sohcahtoa" and that will get you through the first month of trig. (Know what I mean?) The first few were doable with just that little bit. Then I started seeing things I didn't know. But they kept coming. I wanted to go home. After guessing on two, the screen went blank and I prayed, no more. The computer agreed and let me leave. I picked up my sheet and the girl said, "You were in there for a long time. You did really good." It felt like days, and I did "well". No, I didn't say that. I innocently said, "I did?" She showed me the sheet. It made no sense. Pre-Algebra 97, Algebra 99, College Algebra 67, Trigonometry 52. Whatever, did I pass? She didn't know so I went back to Admissions to find out which score mattered in my situation. To my joy, she pointed at the 99. No more math!
Wow, that was a long story. Sorry about that.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Math...just kidding
I have this recurring nightmare (no, seriously, I do) about being in high school again. I don't know my class schedule. I don't know where my classes are. I don't know my locker combination. And I didn't do my math homework. I have been having this dream regularly for 9 years. Now I get to live it this Friday. I start my first class, Anatomy and Physiology 101.04L. It's broken up into lab and lecture, one is from 9-10:50am and the other is from 12-1:50pm. I'm not sure which is which. I have my cheaper version books all packed up in my old backpack. It weighs a ton for only one class.
After class Friday I will head over to another section of the school to take the Compass Algebra test at 2pm. I have discovered that the system is designed to give you progressively more difficult questions from basic math to trigonometry. As long as I get them right I keep going. Let's hope for a long test. Remember, I need a 66. Remember, I have no idea what that means. But I'll be glad to get it over with so you will stop asking me for more math details. I'm getting tired of talking about it.
I have been reading a book called The Ultimate Guide to Getting Into Nursing School. I was cruising right along, soaking in all the glory that is nursing when I came to the sentence, "Make a list of what makes you unique, special, distinctive, impressive, or different from any other applicant?" I was completely stumped. I am the worst at this kind of stuff. Here are some of the questions that I am blanking on.
1) How would your friends describe you? I really don't know. My friends are too nice to be honest with me. Maybe that means I am intimidating and easily offended. Not the stuff of resumes.
2) What is unique about me? Uhh...I'm surrounded by married, christian, 30-something, stay-at-home mothers. I'm a dime a dozen.
3) What is impressive about me? That's pretty subjective and I don't really impress myself.
4) What can differentiate me from other applicants? Now I did answer this one. I think my bachelor's in education and being a math teacher is different. Either they will think I have intelligence and experience or they will think I am a quitter. A little of both, thanks.
5) What are my intellectual influences? Does Spongebob count? I haven't left the house in 8 years. I guess I gotta get me some of those.
6) How has high school prepared me for college? I don't really remember high school. Ask me how college prepared me for college. Or better yet, how has life prepared me for college? No, don't. I'm not sure how to answer any of that.
7) Have you had to overcome unusual hardships in your life? Pregnancy was pretty hard, but I overcame it by having a baby. Three times. Otherwise, my life has been pretty uneventful.
8) Can you tell a story to exemplify your skills? I can't even tell a joke. Skills...skillz...skeelz...um, drawing a blank.
How does one go about getting these answers? I'm doomed.
The hardest question for me to answer is why I want to be a nurse. I'm going to have to figure out how to put that into words for another post.
After class Friday I will head over to another section of the school to take the Compass Algebra test at 2pm. I have discovered that the system is designed to give you progressively more difficult questions from basic math to trigonometry. As long as I get them right I keep going. Let's hope for a long test. Remember, I need a 66. Remember, I have no idea what that means. But I'll be glad to get it over with so you will stop asking me for more math details. I'm getting tired of talking about it.
I have been reading a book called The Ultimate Guide to Getting Into Nursing School. I was cruising right along, soaking in all the glory that is nursing when I came to the sentence, "Make a list of what makes you unique, special, distinctive, impressive, or different from any other applicant?" I was completely stumped. I am the worst at this kind of stuff. Here are some of the questions that I am blanking on.
1) How would your friends describe you? I really don't know. My friends are too nice to be honest with me. Maybe that means I am intimidating and easily offended. Not the stuff of resumes.
2) What is unique about me? Uhh...I'm surrounded by married, christian, 30-something, stay-at-home mothers. I'm a dime a dozen.
3) What is impressive about me? That's pretty subjective and I don't really impress myself.
4) What can differentiate me from other applicants? Now I did answer this one. I think my bachelor's in education and being a math teacher is different. Either they will think I have intelligence and experience or they will think I am a quitter. A little of both, thanks.
5) What are my intellectual influences? Does Spongebob count? I haven't left the house in 8 years. I guess I gotta get me some of those.
6) How has high school prepared me for college? I don't really remember high school. Ask me how college prepared me for college. Or better yet, how has life prepared me for college? No, don't. I'm not sure how to answer any of that.
7) Have you had to overcome unusual hardships in your life? Pregnancy was pretty hard, but I overcame it by having a baby. Three times. Otherwise, my life has been pretty uneventful.
8) Can you tell a story to exemplify your skills? I can't even tell a joke. Skills...skillz...skeelz...um, drawing a blank.
How does one go about getting these answers? I'm doomed.
The hardest question for me to answer is why I want to be a nurse. I'm going to have to figure out how to put that into words for another post.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Race for the Cure
Please visit this post on my family blog about running in this year's Race for the Cure.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Just when I thought I was out...
I found one more CLEP practice test. I timed myself, finished in just over an hour and then went back and worked on the ones I marked. The bad news is that I still missed seven. The good news is that they were not stupid mistakes. No wait, that means I'm just stupid. Maybe that's bad news. Either way, the rust is gone and I am exposed for the math fraud that I am. I stink at probability questions. And there are a lot of probability questions on the CLEP. It's a good thing I am not taking the CLEP. So when do I pull the trigger on the real test? That is a good question.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sick of math yet?
Do you know what's worse than doing a lot of math problems? Listening to someone else talk about doing a lot of math problems. So let's suffer together, shall we?
I just spent almost an hour reviewing math problems and taking notes over topics I didn't understand or remember. These were issues I had tripped over in the previous two CLEP math practice tests. I learned a lot of symbols that I can't type in, like elements, subsets, union, intersection, conjunction, disjunction, negation, "implies", biconditional, converse, inverse and contrapositive. These are not complicated concepts, fortunately. It was just a matter of review and memorizing the symbol. I also refreshed my memory on permutations and combinations, inverse functions, Cartesian products and converting from decimal to binary and back. Overkill? I really hope so.
I then took another practice test (my third CLEP practice). Again, it was 60 questions in 90 minutes. The good news is that I only took 54 minutes to finish. I also knew a whole lot more than I did during the first test. The bad news is that I'm still rusty and made a few mistakes. I missed 9. There were 6 rusty mistakes where I understood the concept but still screwed it up. I rarely make the same mistake twice so those were what I will call "cleaning out the rust". There were only 2 that I just didn't get. And there was one that I still think I got right but they said I was wrong. I'll let you be the judge of that one:
"If you roll a pair of fair dice, the sum of the numbers on the two dice can be any number from 2 to 12. Which is more likely, getting an odd sum or an even sum?
A) An odd sum
B) An even sum
C) They are equally likely
D) None of the above"
My thinking is that there are 11 possible outcomes, like they said, 2 through 12. Of those, 6 outcomes are even and 5 are odd. Therefore you are more likely to roll an even. They said C. Correct me if I'm wrong.
I just spent almost an hour reviewing math problems and taking notes over topics I didn't understand or remember. These were issues I had tripped over in the previous two CLEP math practice tests. I learned a lot of symbols that I can't type in, like elements, subsets, union, intersection, conjunction, disjunction, negation, "implies", biconditional, converse, inverse and contrapositive. These are not complicated concepts, fortunately. It was just a matter of review and memorizing the symbol. I also refreshed my memory on permutations and combinations, inverse functions, Cartesian products and converting from decimal to binary and back. Overkill? I really hope so.
I then took another practice test (my third CLEP practice). Again, it was 60 questions in 90 minutes. The good news is that I only took 54 minutes to finish. I also knew a whole lot more than I did during the first test. The bad news is that I'm still rusty and made a few mistakes. I missed 9. There were 6 rusty mistakes where I understood the concept but still screwed it up. I rarely make the same mistake twice so those were what I will call "cleaning out the rust". There were only 2 that I just didn't get. And there was one that I still think I got right but they said I was wrong. I'll let you be the judge of that one:
"If you roll a pair of fair dice, the sum of the numbers on the two dice can be any number from 2 to 12. Which is more likely, getting an odd sum or an even sum?
A) An odd sum
B) An even sum
C) They are equally likely
D) None of the above"
My thinking is that there are 11 possible outcomes, like they said, 2 through 12. Of those, 6 outcomes are even and 5 are odd. Therefore you are more likely to roll an even. They said C. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Mathing my brains out
The Art of Geometry sounds like a lot of fun, but I'd rather skip it. The same goes for Concepts in Mathematics. Hoping that I don't sound too braggy, I really think that either class would be a cake walk...a $400 cake walk that lasts all day, once a week for a whole semester. If I have the chance to test out of them, I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
I have done over 250 math and algebra problems in the last two days. Jason brought me two CLEP test practice books. There are three practice tests with 60 questions to be done in 90 minutes. The first book had some review info that really helped. I timed myself taking that first one and only missed 6, but I barely finished. Most of those were careless mistakes. Last night I took a test from the second book. It was harder. I missed 10 and it took a lot longer than 90 minutes. There were things on that test that I didn't remember seeing before. Fortunately, there are a lot of things that are coming back to me, slowly. I'm still making careless mistakes, though. All of this practicing will hopefully reduce that. Even so, I don't think I will be taking the CLEP. It's kind of hard.
My other option is the free compass test administered directly by Ivy Tech. Jason found a website with lots of practice questions. I have done about half of them and they are ridiculously easy. This makes me nervous. I don't want to choose the compass only to find that the questions are a lot harder than the ones on the website and that I'm no where near prepared. Hopefully my CLEP practicing will help me with the compass.
Once I have done all the questions I can get my hands on, I will try to take the test immediately while they are still fresh in my mind. This may be overkill but I think it is worth it. The math section of my brain was filled with sludge and cobwebs. I'm doing some much needed brain cleaning. And if I don't pass, it must mean that I need to take the class. I would prefer to be a smart nurse a semester later than a dumb one a semester sooner.
Here are some examples (many examples have symbols I can't type on a normal keyboard):
3)If f(x)=x^2 - 3x, then f(x-1)-1=
8) Which of the following is a factor of 2x^3 - x^2 + 3x -4?
A) x+1
B) x+2
C) x-1
D) x-2
53) Josh is 5 years older than Sam. Three years ago, Josh was twice as old as Sam. How old is Sam now?
I'll be doing my math homework today if anyone needs me.
I have done over 250 math and algebra problems in the last two days. Jason brought me two CLEP test practice books. There are three practice tests with 60 questions to be done in 90 minutes. The first book had some review info that really helped. I timed myself taking that first one and only missed 6, but I barely finished. Most of those were careless mistakes. Last night I took a test from the second book. It was harder. I missed 10 and it took a lot longer than 90 minutes. There were things on that test that I didn't remember seeing before. Fortunately, there are a lot of things that are coming back to me, slowly. I'm still making careless mistakes, though. All of this practicing will hopefully reduce that. Even so, I don't think I will be taking the CLEP. It's kind of hard.
My other option is the free compass test administered directly by Ivy Tech. Jason found a website with lots of practice questions. I have done about half of them and they are ridiculously easy. This makes me nervous. I don't want to choose the compass only to find that the questions are a lot harder than the ones on the website and that I'm no where near prepared. Hopefully my CLEP practicing will help me with the compass.
Once I have done all the questions I can get my hands on, I will try to take the test immediately while they are still fresh in my mind. This may be overkill but I think it is worth it. The math section of my brain was filled with sludge and cobwebs. I'm doing some much needed brain cleaning. And if I don't pass, it must mean that I need to take the class. I would prefer to be a smart nurse a semester later than a dumb one a semester sooner.
Here are some examples (many examples have symbols I can't type on a normal keyboard):
3)If f(x)=x^2 - 3x, then f(x-1)-1=
8) Which of the following is a factor of 2x^3 - x^2 + 3x -4?
A) x+1
B) x+2
C) x-1
D) x-2
53) Josh is 5 years older than Sam. Three years ago, Josh was twice as old as Sam. How old is Sam now?
I'll be doing my math homework today if anyone needs me.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Good news, bad news and some other news...
"We only accept transfer credit on math and science classes if they are less than 10 years old." My heart sank but I tried to keep a pleasant face for Mrs. Dye. The chair of the nursing department at Ivy Tech had agreed to meet with me Thursday to help me make a long term plan. Before I can be assigned to an advisor I need to attend a nursing overview meeting. There is one scheduled each month. However, I waited too long to sign up. They are full until February. But I had questions now and needed some advice...from an advisor. So I went to the top. (It actually wasn't my doing. An assistant in the school took care of it for me.)
Mrs. Dye was incredibly helpful, even if some of her guidance was bad news for me. If you remember correctly, I was a math teacher. I have lots of math courses under my belt at USI...10 years ago. None of them mattered now. I would need to take a 3 hour math class. That is, unless I get a really good score on either the Algebra compass test or pass the CLEP math test. The compass test is free and administered by Ivy Tech. I would need a 66 to get out of math classes. I'm not sure yet what that means. I'm going to look into it. The CLEP test costs close to $70 but I only need to pass that. I skimmed through a CLEP prep book. I can definitely do that. (They recommend "plugging in" as opposed to actually solving the equation.) I'll need to do some more research there before I make up my mind. I'll keep you posted on this exciting debate.
As for the science, I have plenty of that at USI as well since I was pre-med. That was well over 10 years ago. I have no hope here. It appears I will be taking a 3 hour microbiology class and a 4 hour physics class. There is an option of a 3 hour chemisty class but I'll take the extra hour hit to avoid chemisty. (For more background on my USI math and science check out the August 8th post.) This will add at least one more semester to my plan. I'll talk more about "the plan" later...when I have one.
Some of Mrs. Dye's news was good. Ivy Tech requires all students to take a one hour life skills class. I could use some of those, but fortunately I can skip it because of the career planning class I took at USI. I found this little twist funny and ironic. All this time I thought it was a waste of a class. (Again, see August 8th for career planning reference.)
More good news - I would be required to take a sociology, multicultural studies or psychology class. That would be the case if I hadn't done some legwork. As an education major at USI, I took a Multicultural Education course. It appears as EDUC 302 on my transcripts. It was easy to skip over. I felt it should count but I didn't have a shred of proof. I had purged myself of all my education books and papers. I looked for my 302 teacher at USI only to find no evidence that he existed. I did manage to find a copy of a syllabus from another teacher's 302 class. I took a copy of it with me to show Mrs. Dye and she seemed to be impressed that I was proactive in the matter. She accepted it. It almost makes the science and math insult hurt less.
And more good news - We discussed at length each semester in the school of nursing. I was having a difficult time wrapping my head around what my life would look like when I got to that point. I knew it was very structured so I was nervous about abandoning my family for two years. I found that I would have a lot more flexibility and say in my time than I realized. Each semester, the staff reevaluates the situation based on changes in student numbers, staff availability, lab availability, and hospital and clinic schedules. They then build several structured plans from which the students can choose. Mrs. Dye was very pleased with the way this semester looks right now because there are 6 different plans and none of them have classes, labs or clinic on Fridays. She said they would love to keep Fridays open when possible from now on, though it might change if they had no choice. She printed off all six plans for first semester nursing students so I could look them over on my own, and I will.
I also signed up for the nursing overview meeting in March. Better late than never. Better late than never.
(Sorry for the dramatic repeated last line. Something about it struck a cord with me and I realized it meant a lot more than my original purpose for it.)
Mrs. Dye was incredibly helpful, even if some of her guidance was bad news for me. If you remember correctly, I was a math teacher. I have lots of math courses under my belt at USI...10 years ago. None of them mattered now. I would need to take a 3 hour math class. That is, unless I get a really good score on either the Algebra compass test or pass the CLEP math test. The compass test is free and administered by Ivy Tech. I would need a 66 to get out of math classes. I'm not sure yet what that means. I'm going to look into it. The CLEP test costs close to $70 but I only need to pass that. I skimmed through a CLEP prep book. I can definitely do that. (They recommend "plugging in" as opposed to actually solving the equation.) I'll need to do some more research there before I make up my mind. I'll keep you posted on this exciting debate.
As for the science, I have plenty of that at USI as well since I was pre-med. That was well over 10 years ago. I have no hope here. It appears I will be taking a 3 hour microbiology class and a 4 hour physics class. There is an option of a 3 hour chemisty class but I'll take the extra hour hit to avoid chemisty. (For more background on my USI math and science check out the August 8th post.) This will add at least one more semester to my plan. I'll talk more about "the plan" later...when I have one.
Some of Mrs. Dye's news was good. Ivy Tech requires all students to take a one hour life skills class. I could use some of those, but fortunately I can skip it because of the career planning class I took at USI. I found this little twist funny and ironic. All this time I thought it was a waste of a class. (Again, see August 8th for career planning reference.)
More good news - I would be required to take a sociology, multicultural studies or psychology class. That would be the case if I hadn't done some legwork. As an education major at USI, I took a Multicultural Education course. It appears as EDUC 302 on my transcripts. It was easy to skip over. I felt it should count but I didn't have a shred of proof. I had purged myself of all my education books and papers. I looked for my 302 teacher at USI only to find no evidence that he existed. I did manage to find a copy of a syllabus from another teacher's 302 class. I took a copy of it with me to show Mrs. Dye and she seemed to be impressed that I was proactive in the matter. She accepted it. It almost makes the science and math insult hurt less.
And more good news - We discussed at length each semester in the school of nursing. I was having a difficult time wrapping my head around what my life would look like when I got to that point. I knew it was very structured so I was nervous about abandoning my family for two years. I found that I would have a lot more flexibility and say in my time than I realized. Each semester, the staff reevaluates the situation based on changes in student numbers, staff availability, lab availability, and hospital and clinic schedules. They then build several structured plans from which the students can choose. Mrs. Dye was very pleased with the way this semester looks right now because there are 6 different plans and none of them have classes, labs or clinic on Fridays. She said they would love to keep Fridays open when possible from now on, though it might change if they had no choice. She printed off all six plans for first semester nursing students so I could look them over on my own, and I will.
I also signed up for the nursing overview meeting in March. Better late than never. Better late than never.
(Sorry for the dramatic repeated last line. Something about it struck a cord with me and I realized it meant a lot more than my original purpose for it.)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Student
Try to not think about nursing. Try to not think about nursing. Nursing. This isn't working. Taking care of Willow should keep me distracted. Nursing. But she's just baby. I can't go back to school. Nursing. I'll plant some flowers. Nursing. I'll paint a room. Nursing. Willow won't be in kindergarten for another 4 years. But if I started school now...Okay, fine. I'll look into it.
I thought my desire to go back to school to become a nurse would cool off after having Willow. If anything, it intensified. I started doing the math, asking questions. If I became a nurse, it would be great to get started the same year that Willow started school. How many years would it take to get my degree? Where would I get it from? When should I start? Who would watch Willow? Is it okay to leave her to do something so selfish?
I know me, sort of. I wouldn't sleep until I had some answers.
I met with a friend in the nursing school at USI to ask her some questions. If I could, I would go there. Unfortunately, USI stopped awarding associate's degrees. I would have to get a bachelor's degree. Even with my education degree, that was a lot of classes and a lot of years. Also, USI is $167.30/credit hour. One class (not in the school of nursing) would cost about $850 (with fees and books). Once I started the school of nursing, a semester would cost about $4600. Wow. And USI is 19 miles away and it takes about 40 minutes to drive there. This wasn't looking good.
Later that same week, I was walking through Walmart. (I do that occasionally just to relax.) I saw a girl I remembered from high school but I doubted she new me. My plan was to do what I always do when I recognize someone. Hide. As I approached her and was prepared to avoid her, I felt this overwhelming urge to say hi. This was crazy. We weren't even friends in school. Say hi. She has no idea who I am. Talk to her. No. Do it now. She's almost gone. Noooo! "Hi, you're Amy, right?" I can't believe I did that. Now I'm in this awkward conversation. Don't be a loser. Try to act normal. Hey, she remembers me. She has a kid, I have...several kids. I stay at home, she's a...nurse at Deaconess Gateway. You're kidding me. That's where I want to work. She went to school at Ivy Tech. Wow, God, thanks.
Because of my conversation with Amy, I realized Ivy Tech could be a very good option for me to consider. She had an associate's degree and said most of the nurses she works with have associate's degrees. I would have to look into this.
While checking out their website, I saw information for a campus preview day and immediately signed up. They have a brand new building that is beautiful inside and out. Everyone I met was very helpful and happy to be there and happy I was there. I saw some of the classrooms and got a chance to sit down with several of the teachers in the nursing school who were very encouraging. They looked at my transcripts from USI and thought I only needed a couple of classes and then I could start the school of nursing, probably by next fall. But once I started the school I would have to take all of the classes required each semester for two years. No turning back. No stretching it out. Okay, this was a lot to take in. I would have to think about that later. But for now, at Ivy Tech one credit hour is $95/credit hour. One class would cost me about $500 with fees and books. A semester would be between $1500 and $2000. I don't have that kind of money but it was a lot less than USI, especially since I would have to take a lot fewer classes. I could be done in three years if I wanted to. It was also a bit closer at 15 miles (25 minutes) with my sister the baby-sitter living only a mile from campus. This was looking good.
I explored the rest of the campus and sat down in the commons area and filled out an application. That same week I sent off requests for transcripts from my high school and from USI. Over the next couple of months I:
My newest title: student. I am officially a student at Ivy Tech Community College. And we are officially caught up.
I thought my desire to go back to school to become a nurse would cool off after having Willow. If anything, it intensified. I started doing the math, asking questions. If I became a nurse, it would be great to get started the same year that Willow started school. How many years would it take to get my degree? Where would I get it from? When should I start? Who would watch Willow? Is it okay to leave her to do something so selfish?
I know me, sort of. I wouldn't sleep until I had some answers.
I met with a friend in the nursing school at USI to ask her some questions. If I could, I would go there. Unfortunately, USI stopped awarding associate's degrees. I would have to get a bachelor's degree. Even with my education degree, that was a lot of classes and a lot of years. Also, USI is $167.30/credit hour. One class (not in the school of nursing) would cost about $850 (with fees and books). Once I started the school of nursing, a semester would cost about $4600. Wow. And USI is 19 miles away and it takes about 40 minutes to drive there. This wasn't looking good.
Later that same week, I was walking through Walmart. (I do that occasionally just to relax.) I saw a girl I remembered from high school but I doubted she new me. My plan was to do what I always do when I recognize someone. Hide. As I approached her and was prepared to avoid her, I felt this overwhelming urge to say hi. This was crazy. We weren't even friends in school. Say hi. She has no idea who I am. Talk to her. No. Do it now. She's almost gone. Noooo! "Hi, you're Amy, right?" I can't believe I did that. Now I'm in this awkward conversation. Don't be a loser. Try to act normal. Hey, she remembers me. She has a kid, I have...several kids. I stay at home, she's a...nurse at Deaconess Gateway. You're kidding me. That's where I want to work. She went to school at Ivy Tech. Wow, God, thanks.
Because of my conversation with Amy, I realized Ivy Tech could be a very good option for me to consider. She had an associate's degree and said most of the nurses she works with have associate's degrees. I would have to look into this.
While checking out their website, I saw information for a campus preview day and immediately signed up. They have a brand new building that is beautiful inside and out. Everyone I met was very helpful and happy to be there and happy I was there. I saw some of the classrooms and got a chance to sit down with several of the teachers in the nursing school who were very encouraging. They looked at my transcripts from USI and thought I only needed a couple of classes and then I could start the school of nursing, probably by next fall. But once I started the school I would have to take all of the classes required each semester for two years. No turning back. No stretching it out. Okay, this was a lot to take in. I would have to think about that later. But for now, at Ivy Tech one credit hour is $95/credit hour. One class would cost me about $500 with fees and books. A semester would be between $1500 and $2000. I don't have that kind of money but it was a lot less than USI, especially since I would have to take a lot fewer classes. I could be done in three years if I wanted to. It was also a bit closer at 15 miles (25 minutes) with my sister the baby-sitter living only a mile from campus. This was looking good.
I explored the rest of the campus and sat down in the commons area and filled out an application. That same week I sent off requests for transcripts from my high school and from USI. Over the next couple of months I:
- was accepted
- made baby-sitting arrangements with my sister (thanks Jenny)
- signed up on campus connect (online area where I find everything I need to do and know)
- registered for my first class: Anatomy and Physiology 101 (I love that stuff!)
- paid my tuition (thanks to my friends who paid me to paint)
- went to the Ivy Tech bookstore and found the books I would need for my class. Only $264 for two books! What a bargain! I said no thank you and bought one on ebay for around $65 and the other on Amazon for $85.
- made an appointment to meet with the head of the nursing department (this Thursday)
My newest title: student. I am officially a student at Ivy Tech Community College. And we are officially caught up.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
A Fork in the Tunnel
I had finally figured it out. I had lots of interest but I needed one that I could commit to the rest of my life (more or less). I had considered real estate but I think the system is terribly flawed. I thought about flipping houses, but I have no start up money and not enough time without the kids to work on them. I used to want to be an architect but it seemed a bit late in the game for that sort of thing. I had once thought about nursing, but...well, there's...hmm. That actually sounded pretty good. In college I hadn't really thought about going from pre-med to nursing. My common sense and strong reasoning abilities had failed me. I should have majored in nursing. Oh, I could kick myself.
I wasn't about to jump in and make the same mistake twice. I wanted to consider this for a little bit. No hurry, really. Luke wasn't even in pre-school. I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Then the tunnel forked. I suddenly had a new and irresistible urge. There was no logic or reasoning behind it. I just had to have it. School? What school? I need a baby now.
It's a good thing it happened immediately because a month later and I would have changed my mind. In fact, I did change my mind a few times and felt terribly guilty every time the thought of school got me a little depressed about being pregnant. It didn't take long, though, to fall in love with this girl. Willow was born August 3, 2007. She is the icing on the cake and completely different than the other two. I cannot imagine life without her.
School could wait. But could I?
I wasn't about to jump in and make the same mistake twice. I wanted to consider this for a little bit. No hurry, really. Luke wasn't even in pre-school. I could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Then the tunnel forked. I suddenly had a new and irresistible urge. There was no logic or reasoning behind it. I just had to have it. School? What school? I need a baby now.
It's a good thing it happened immediately because a month later and I would have changed my mind. In fact, I did change my mind a few times and felt terribly guilty every time the thought of school got me a little depressed about being pregnant. It didn't take long, though, to fall in love with this girl. Willow was born August 3, 2007. She is the icing on the cake and completely different than the other two. I cannot imagine life without her.School could wait. But could I?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Mom
We were already bored after only a year and half of marriage. We decided now was the time to shake things up a bit before we were anchored grown ups. After I left ECS, Jason got a job in St. Louis and I was eager to go and start over. We left around the beginning of August 2000. On my birthday, Friday, August 25th, Jason took me to my first ever Starbuck's after a huge Italian dinner. After I finished my giant cappuccino, I felt terrible. We went back to our apartment where I laid in bed moaning with agony. I thought I had food poisoning. The next morning I woke up with nausea and all I wanted to eat was fast food sandwiches. The same thing happened the next day. On Monday morning I had an idea of what this could possibly be. I took a pregnancy test and called Jason at work. He came home and we both panicked together.
I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant with Abigail. This was great news but terrible timing. We were slowly running out of money as I was unemployed. I tried to get a substitute teaching job but every morning I was sick and getting sicker. There was a terrible smell in the apartment. At first only I could smell it and 100% of the times I smelled it, I threw up. Eventually everyone could smell it. The apartment manager put some chemicals in our furnace but it didn't help. Everything we owned smelled. I just sat in the bedroom by a fan in the open window day after day. It was a prison. Jason, too was miserable. The company that hired him had nothing for him to do. We decided it was time to end this misery and come back home where things were safer. That was the end of our two month St. Louis experiment.
It also ended my teaching career. And for that I was grateful. When a woman has a degree there is a lot of pressure to have a career, or at least a job. I was asked on numerous occasions while pregnant if I had a job or was planning on getting one. What would be the point of getting job I was going to quit in a few months? My plan was to stay home and raise this kid. This was over seven years ago and I don't regret any of it. Abigail was born May 8, 2001. I am so glad I stayed with her. I had the best time of my life with Abby when she was a baby. She is an amazing girl.
He didn't change my title any, but I have to mention Luke. When Abby was almost two, I really wanted another baby. We both wanted a boy so badly. And I thank God he was. Luke was born December 5, 2003. He has been so much fun and I can't imagine not having experienced life with a daughter and a son. They are so different. It really spices up parenthood.
When Luke was around 3, I realized there was a longing in me to start a career. As much as I loved raising these two, I really wanted to get out of the house and do something that challenged my brain and body, something that I would be really good at, something that would make me feel like I was contributing in some way to society. I realize it sounds like I'm belittling staying at home to raise kids. That was the fear I had when I realized I wanted to do something else. I felt so torn, confused and embarrassed. I wanted to be with my kids so badly and yet, just as badly, I wanted to to do something else. I couldn't explain it then and I'm not sure how to explain it now. Being a mom does challenge the brain and body. And I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm good enough, though I pale in comparison to many of the moms I am friends with. And without moms there would be no society. So, please hear me when I say that being a stay-at-home mom is one of the best and most important jobs in the world.
So why did I still want more? I don't know. I'm flawed that way, I guess. The point is, Luke was going to be in school soon and I knew I wanted to have a job when they were both gone all day. The glaring problem: my degree. I did not want to be a teacher, but I didn't want to be a secretary or factory worker. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm getting myself into trouble the more I write. Let's end this by saying, I knew I wanted to go back to school soon. I had a good idea of what I wanted to get a degree in. I knew things were about to change, but I didn't expect to it play out the way it did.
I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant with Abigail. This was great news but terrible timing. We were slowly running out of money as I was unemployed. I tried to get a substitute teaching job but every morning I was sick and getting sicker. There was a terrible smell in the apartment. At first only I could smell it and 100% of the times I smelled it, I threw up. Eventually everyone could smell it. The apartment manager put some chemicals in our furnace but it didn't help. Everything we owned smelled. I just sat in the bedroom by a fan in the open window day after day. It was a prison. Jason, too was miserable. The company that hired him had nothing for him to do. We decided it was time to end this misery and come back home where things were safer. That was the end of our two month St. Louis experiment.
It also ended my teaching career. And for that I was grateful. When a woman has a degree there is a lot of pressure to have a career, or at least a job. I was asked on numerous occasions while pregnant if I had a job or was planning on getting one. What would be the point of getting job I was going to quit in a few months? My plan was to stay home and raise this kid. This was over seven years ago and I don't regret any of it. Abigail was born May 8, 2001. I am so glad I stayed with her. I had the best time of my life with Abby when she was a baby. She is an amazing girl.
He didn't change my title any, but I have to mention Luke. When Abby was almost two, I really wanted another baby. We both wanted a boy so badly. And I thank God he was. Luke was born December 5, 2003. He has been so much fun and I can't imagine not having experienced life with a daughter and a son. They are so different. It really spices up parenthood.When Luke was around 3, I realized there was a longing in me to start a career. As much as I loved raising these two, I really wanted to get out of the house and do something that challenged my brain and body, something that I would be really good at, something that would make me feel like I was contributing in some way to society. I realize it sounds like I'm belittling staying at home to raise kids. That was the fear I had when I realized I wanted to do something else. I felt so torn, confused and embarrassed. I wanted to be with my kids so badly and yet, just as badly, I wanted to to do something else. I couldn't explain it then and I'm not sure how to explain it now. Being a mom does challenge the brain and body. And I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm good enough, though I pale in comparison to many of the moms I am friends with. And without moms there would be no society. So, please hear me when I say that being a stay-at-home mom is one of the best and most important jobs in the world.
So why did I still want more? I don't know. I'm flawed that way, I guess. The point is, Luke was going to be in school soon and I knew I wanted to have a job when they were both gone all day. The glaring problem: my degree. I did not want to be a teacher, but I didn't want to be a secretary or factory worker. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm getting myself into trouble the more I write. Let's end this by saying, I knew I wanted to go back to school soon. I had a good idea of what I wanted to get a degree in. I knew things were about to change, but I didn't expect to it play out the way it did.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Wife
I can't really move forward in the story unless I go backwards a bit. The timing of my wedding will seem somewhat peculiar being January 2. I had just finished my last semester of education classes and student teaching began around January 10th. At that time I had a list of reasons why I wanted to get married then and not wait until summer...literally. I wrote them all down in case my parents said no. Now that I'm 30, I can't really explain any of it with the same conviction as when I was 20 so here is a reasonable summary.
His name is Jason and we met at Christian Fellowship Church when I was 15 and he was 19. We liked each other right away, then we hated each other, then we liked each other and so on for the next 4 or 5 years. Well, he says he always liked me, but we weren't very nice to each other sometimes. Never tell a guy you like him like a brother. They don't like it.
In the spring of 1998, a series of unexpected yeses to a series of casual invitations led us to spending a bit more time together. We were not madly in love, but I began to believe what Jason had known all along (as he claims), that we were supposed to be married. If that's the case then why wait around? When I've thought something through and it seems right, I don't stop until I've done it. That's my best explanation of why January 2nd. So...
Wedding. Student teaching. Elementary Education BS with a math minor and middle school endorsement. Summer job at a plastics factory (no need to elaborate). Teaching at ECS. Quitting ECS.
I think we are caught up now. Let's move forward. In fact, let's move to St. Louis where our story takes an interesting turn, or more specifically, a U-turn.
His name is Jason and we met at Christian Fellowship Church when I was 15 and he was 19. We liked each other right away, then we hated each other, then we liked each other and so on for the next 4 or 5 years. Well, he says he always liked me, but we weren't very nice to each other sometimes. Never tell a guy you like him like a brother. They don't like it.
In the spring of 1998, a series of unexpected yeses to a series of casual invitations led us to spending a bit more time together. We were not madly in love, but I began to believe what Jason had known all along (as he claims), that we were supposed to be married. If that's the case then why wait around? When I've thought something through and it seems right, I don't stop until I've done it. That's my best explanation of why January 2nd. So...
Wedding. Student teaching. Elementary Education BS with a math minor and middle school endorsement. Summer job at a plastics factory (no need to elaborate). Teaching at ECS. Quitting ECS.
I think we are caught up now. Let's move forward. In fact, let's move to St. Louis where our story takes an interesting turn, or more specifically, a U-turn.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
The Degree
I knew it was wrong to be there. I could feel it in each class, but I pressed on towards my goal. Determination turned to blind stubbornness. I wanted a degree and this teaching stuff was ridiculously easy. Every A and every compliment made it easier and easier to ignore that sense of dread. I was dreading actually becoming a teacher. But I'd deal with that after getting my bachelor's degree.
For someone so smart I can be awfully stupid.
(This is where the story gets slightly out of order. I actually took the title of wife the semester before I graduated. For consistency, though, let's skip that part and return to it later.)
I had never substitute taught a day in my life and I knew very few people in the Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation. And like so many careers, this one is highly political. It's all about who you know. My application was in but there was no interest. I applied at Evansville Christian School who hired me immediately because very few are willing to teach for almost free. A week after accepting the job, I was offered half a semester at Tekoppel Elementary. Oh how my life would have been different.
I was absolutely miserable at ECS. It's a great school, if you are a student. But when a parent pays that much for their child's education, they feel they are your direct boss. I had a homeroom of around 20 sixth graders, but also taught math to roughly 20 more sixth graders, around 40 something 5th graders and 5 eighth graders. That's well over 100 parents, or as I like to put it, over 100 bosses. I was bullied and intentionally intimidated by several of them. They were awful enough to ruin it for the ones who were incredibly kind to me. And what could the principal do? She had thousands of bosses. The stress level for me was through the roof. I was terrified of these children and their parents. I was terrified by all the rules and rigidity of the school. I was terrified by my boss and several of the teachers. I was miserable. The one bright spot was a teacher there named Shelly Main. She wanted me to stay but after that year, I bolted.
I never wanted to teach again. That year made me really afraid of large groups of kids and even more so of their parents. I guess teaching was out. What a waste of a degree! What was I going to do now?
For someone so smart I can be awfully stupid.
(This is where the story gets slightly out of order. I actually took the title of wife the semester before I graduated. For consistency, though, let's skip that part and return to it later.)
I had never substitute taught a day in my life and I knew very few people in the Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation. And like so many careers, this one is highly political. It's all about who you know. My application was in but there was no interest. I applied at Evansville Christian School who hired me immediately because very few are willing to teach for almost free. A week after accepting the job, I was offered half a semester at Tekoppel Elementary. Oh how my life would have been different.
I was absolutely miserable at ECS. It's a great school, if you are a student. But when a parent pays that much for their child's education, they feel they are your direct boss. I had a homeroom of around 20 sixth graders, but also taught math to roughly 20 more sixth graders, around 40 something 5th graders and 5 eighth graders. That's well over 100 parents, or as I like to put it, over 100 bosses. I was bullied and intentionally intimidated by several of them. They were awful enough to ruin it for the ones who were incredibly kind to me. And what could the principal do? She had thousands of bosses. The stress level for me was through the roof. I was terrified of these children and their parents. I was terrified by all the rules and rigidity of the school. I was terrified by my boss and several of the teachers. I was miserable. The one bright spot was a teacher there named Shelly Main. She wanted me to stay but after that year, I bolted.
I never wanted to teach again. That year made me really afraid of large groups of kids and even more so of their parents. I guess teaching was out. What a waste of a degree! What was I going to do now?
Friday, August 8, 2008
Where do I begin?
My name is Laura and I am about to begin a new chapter in my life. More precisely, I have already begun this new chapter. It may be arrogant of me, but I've decided to journal and share my experiences as they happen over the next few years. First, though, I have the daunting task of summarizing everything relevant leading up to this point. Bear with me as I get the story going.
If you don't already know me, you can guess a few things about me by the title of the blog. I am a wife and a mom and a student, in that order. I had a few titles before that, though. So let's start there for this first post.
When my title was kid, I graduated from high school. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I grew up but I knew I liked dissecting things. I loved biology, anatomy and health. But I liked a lot of things so it was difficult to focus. Because of this lack of focus, I decided not to waste a lot of money on a big school like IU. The University of Southern Indiana was right here and good enough for someone like me. I had very good grades in school but no idea for a major.
I thought being a surgeon would be fun. That right there should have been my first red flag. Becoming a doctor is not "fun". I would find that out soon enough as I chose pre-medicine as my major. I had never had to work much in high school so I was overwhelmed with this new schedule, especially chemistry. I freaked out and realized I didn't have the drive necessary to see this doctor thing through to the end.
I decided to drop chemistry my second semester and take a career planning class. I took all kinds of personality and interest inventory tests. Each one gave me completely different and contrary advice. I think I was told I should be a parks and rec director or a police officer among other things.
I finished the semester behind on hours and panicked. I still had no idea what to do. I couldn't just keep taking random classes. I needed a goal, a major. In my state of panic, I decided to join the military. I even took the ASFAB test at a local recruiter's. My dad, a Vietnam veteran, put his foot down and, since he was paying for most of my schooling, I obeyed.
I didn't know anything about any careers, really. I knew I liked school. I had plenty of experience in school since I was a kid, K though 12. I knew teachers. I knew classrooms. That settled it. I'd getting a teaching degree. That was not nearly as scary and new as pre-med. So I transfered to the school of education.
If you don't already know me, you can guess a few things about me by the title of the blog. I am a wife and a mom and a student, in that order. I had a few titles before that, though. So let's start there for this first post.
When my title was kid, I graduated from high school. I wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I grew up but I knew I liked dissecting things. I loved biology, anatomy and health. But I liked a lot of things so it was difficult to focus. Because of this lack of focus, I decided not to waste a lot of money on a big school like IU. The University of Southern Indiana was right here and good enough for someone like me. I had very good grades in school but no idea for a major.
I thought being a surgeon would be fun. That right there should have been my first red flag. Becoming a doctor is not "fun". I would find that out soon enough as I chose pre-medicine as my major. I had never had to work much in high school so I was overwhelmed with this new schedule, especially chemistry. I freaked out and realized I didn't have the drive necessary to see this doctor thing through to the end.
I decided to drop chemistry my second semester and take a career planning class. I took all kinds of personality and interest inventory tests. Each one gave me completely different and contrary advice. I think I was told I should be a parks and rec director or a police officer among other things.
I finished the semester behind on hours and panicked. I still had no idea what to do. I couldn't just keep taking random classes. I needed a goal, a major. In my state of panic, I decided to join the military. I even took the ASFAB test at a local recruiter's. My dad, a Vietnam veteran, put his foot down and, since he was paying for most of my schooling, I obeyed.
I didn't know anything about any careers, really. I knew I liked school. I had plenty of experience in school since I was a kid, K though 12. I knew teachers. I knew classrooms. That settled it. I'd getting a teaching degree. That was not nearly as scary and new as pre-med. So I transfered to the school of education.
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