You're so curious...

I am here, late Friday night, to report on my first day of school. I knew my entire fan base would be anxiously awaiting some news. (Both of you.) So, have at it:

Yes, I was scared. Let's just get that out of the way early.

I arrived at school at 8:35am. I was a bit early but I didn't know where I was going. The parking lot was much fuller now so I parked in the back and entered an area with which I was completely unfamiliar. This is a relatively small building, yet I can't seem to get my bearings here. I headed to the library in the opposite corner of the school and had my student ID made. So, if nothing else, I had accomplished something. Then I went searching for my class.

Room 344, as it turns out, is a lecture hall seating around 80 or so students. At 8:45 there were already 20 people there. I found a seat in my normal place in any classroom, middle of the second row. The chairs were padded and swiveled out from the table like a McDonald's seat. If I put any pressure on it I fell back almost flat. Not good for note-taking.

Another non-traditional student sat next to me and introduced herself. I liked her immediately, though she is probably 15 years older than me. We talked until our teacher decided to get things going. Pam, the teacher, said to call her Pam. I'm not sure I can do that. I've never done that. I don't even call my kid's teacher by her first name. Anyway, Mrs. Pam is tall, skinny and professional. She seems sort of tough and cold but I like her. For some reason I find it easy to tune into her voice. She doesn't have notes to present as she lectures, which is hard for me to get used to. She did, however, give us a very detailed exam guide right away that follows the lecture precisely. She went over the syllabus and some rules. There is always some stuff about attendance being important and all that and I never cared because I knew I would always be there. This time, though, when we talked about the importance of attendance and punctuality, I became really nervous. I have kids and a life now. Things happen.

I have two chapters to read by next Friday. Cool. And an hour into class, I realized the back of my seat was adjustable.

On a side note, I checked my cheap textbook with the expensive one. Other than the cover, it is identical. Ha, system. I beat you.

Lunch time at 11am. I walked down the stairs with the crowd and somehow ended up outside. I turned back inside and found the bottom of the stairwell went nowhere but out. Is this one of those optical illusions? I went back up to the third floor and back down another way, feeling like a complete dork. I finally made my way to the student center to eat for the first and last time. It stunk of old people food. You know that smell. I decided a turkey sub would be a good, harmless decision. I paid $4.32 for a small turkey sandwich with a bunch of white lettuce, tomatoes, and two halves of a slice of american cheese on a white hoagie bun with a generic mayonnaise packet. No sides. No drink. No flavor. No more. I called Jason to complain. No wonder there were maybe 5 people there.

I used the bathroom and then found my lab, Room 304. This room is a little cramped. I picked a good spot though, since my teacher spent most of the time with the models right behind me. I had a good view, but couldn't take notes. Fortunately, everything is in the lab manual and on the sheets she gave us. We went over a ton of anatomy terms. I loved it. I knew about half of them and picked up most of the rest quickly. Then we spent the rest of the time filling in the blanks on our own. I finished up at 1:45 and walked out.

My first day of class was done but when I got out into the hallway, my nervousness doubled. Now I had to head to the other building and prove to the world that I, a former math teacher, did not need a math class despite my 9 year hiatus from thinking. The kid behind the desk gave me a lock and key and I put my stuff in a locker. She then led me to a computer with two #2 pencils, one sheet of paper, and calculator they got for free in a cereal box. It had about 5 buttons.

I almost failed the student background questions. It took me 5 minutes just to find "nursing" in the list. I almost panicked, twice. It then asked me how certain I was. I'm not sure anymore. I apprehensively filled out the rest of my personal info and made it to the actual test. The first question made no sense. It was basic math. I hate basic math. I need variables. I took what seemed like forever on the first several questions, going over them and over them, making sure I was thinking the right thing before I would commit to a click. Once answered, there was no going back. I hate commitment. Then the screen went blank and my heart skipped a beat. I must have missed enough for the test to end. Oh no...then a question with a variable popped up. Awesome, I moved up a level. I started to pick up speed. I liked these questions. Then the screen went blank and I held my breath...more algebra. Yeah! Bring it! I could do this all night. I was really working it. Then the screen went blank and my confidence wavered for a fraction of a second. Then I got it, some Trigonometry. That was my finish line, as far as I was concerned. I would just ride this wave home. I didn't practice any trig and I didn't care. I remembered "sohcahtoa" and that will get you through the first month of trig. (Know what I mean?) The first few were doable with just that little bit. Then I started seeing things I didn't know. But they kept coming. I wanted to go home. After guessing on two, the screen went blank and I prayed, no more. The computer agreed and let me leave. I picked up my sheet and the girl said, "You were in there for a long time. You did really good." It felt like days, and I did "well". No, I didn't say that. I innocently said, "I did?" She showed me the sheet. It made no sense. Pre-Algebra 97, Algebra 99, College Algebra 67, Trigonometry 52. Whatever, did I pass? She didn't know so I went back to Admissions to find out which score mattered in my situation. To my joy, she pointed at the 99. No more math!

Wow, that was a long story. Sorry about that.