I'm not really sure what happened. It's kind of a blur now. I remember our teacher telling us right before handing out the tests that she looked at the test she was supposed to give us and decided she didn't like it so she wrote her own. I studied Pam's study guide, the online flashcards and online notes, took online tests and did online labeling exercises. These are the things I did last semester when I aced the tests. I also studied the chapter objectives given in the syllabus because that is what Dr. Murphy told us to focus on. In fact, my problem is that I studied too many things. I had no focus. So instead of learning a few things really well, I learned a lot of things sort of well. I was having a hard time focusing the entire week I studied. Things weren't sticking and I was starting to get stuff mixed up in my head. I'm not smart enough to memorize or understand an entire chapter (two chapters for the test). So when she said she wrote the test I didn't know what to expect.
Once I started the test I realized I was in trouble. Last semester I took each test in 10 minutes and spent 5 minutes double checking (and never changing a single answer). This time I spent probably 20 minutes taking the test and 10 minutes going over it and changing a couple of answers because I had completely misread the question. I even guessed on a few. Some of the questions came out of left field. There were things I don't remember ever seeing on any of the stuff I studied and some things I remember just glossing over in lecture but there it was on the test. I found that several remarkably complicated subjects that we were told specifically by Dr. Murphy to know were completely absent from the test. These were things I spent time studying at the expense of other, more obscure things that I did find on the test. (Some examples, there was a question about the vagus nerve speeding up or slowing down the heart. I couldn't remember if the vagus nerve was sympathetic or parasympathetic. That was from last semester. So I guessed wrong. I looked back and couldn't find a reference to the vagus nerve in the chapter objectives, Pam's study guide or class power point slides. Why was this on the test? If it is important, why wasn't it emphasized in class or the text? We were told to know the clotting factors for extrinsic and intrinsic clotting. That was really complicated to learn. They were not on there. I learned the plasma proteins and their function. She only asked what organ produced them. I don't understand how that is more important.)
I haven't seen the test yet to really figure out what went wrong. I just know I got 108 out of 120 and there were no bonus points. That's a 90%, a B. Looking back I know I could have studied harder, but there was no way I could have known what to study short of memorizing the entire chapter (and I would love to do that). There were just enough obscure questions to throw my grade to a B. What really frustrates me is that my friends, the 4, are really smart. They all got A's last semester. They all got B's on this test. I saw how they studied and worked each week. They deserved A's. Their grades do not reflect what they really learned. And they need A's in this class to get into the school of nursing this fall. Something just isn't right here. I don't know what else to say.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Surprise!
This is my consolation prize for losing a semester of school and a year of my life to house arrest. Her name for now is Sunny. I know that name is boring and not at all funny and clever like I had hoped. It is, however, warm, happy and simple. I guess we'll keep that name until something better comes up. She's 4 months old according to the Vanderburgh Humane Society. She seems to go back and forth between affection and fear. She hasn't eaten or used her litter box yet and she seems to be really tired right now. I'll try to get a better picture of her when she comes out from behind the dryer. She tried to take a nap under Abby's bed but Abby crawled under there with her and read her a long book. I decided to just leave her alone, but I'll admit I'm a little sad that we didn't hit it off right away. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
As for the lab practical, it seems I got 105 out of 100. I really thought I had missed something. I actually went over all of my answers twice just to make sure because this stuff is easy to get mixed up. Anyway, I'm happy.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
New Plan
I was pretty upset Tuesday, if you couldn't tell. When I decided to go back to school, my original plan was to graduate just before Willow, my youngest, started kindergarten. That specifically meant graduating in the spring of 2012. I wasn't sure how many classes would be required of me to get to that point. I didn't even know how the nursing program worked at all. I just went to the orientation for information. I talked to everyone willing to talk and discovered that I could theoretically start the program after one year of pre-requisites. I got pretty excited and filled out an application that day.
I knew in the back of my head that I would most likely not push it to get in that early. Willow had just turned one and the program is full time and intense. I had 4 non-program classes I needed to take. I knew I could stretch the classes out and pace myself to graduate at the right time. But once I got going I really wanted to speed this up and get a job as soon as possible. I made a compromise goal of waiting one and half years and graduating a semester earlier. I settled into that plan even though I always wondered how I was going to make it work.
If you read the last blog post, you know that Luke's full day kindergarten fell through and plans have changed. There is no healthy way of starting the nursing program full time while Luke is in half-day kindergarten. I have to wait that extra semester and will start the program in the fall of 2010. I will take my chemistry class this fall and my microbiology class next spring. This was the way it was supposed to be in the beginning so I'm trying to not be upset about it. The thing is, it's not just the nursing thing that's frustrating, it's also the half-day thing. When Abby was in half-day kindergarten, the sign-ups were at 9am. I went there at 9am and they said the morning classes filled up before 8am. I was mad at the system but I dealt with it because I knew I was flexible as a stay-at-home mom and it meant I could sleep in. But as the weeks went by, I found I was absolutely miserable with the schedule. I couldn't leave the house and that wore on me. If Luke is going to be in half-day this fall, I am getting to the school at 7am to get him in the morning class. That way he can ride the bus with Abby and I can pick him up at noon and be free to do stuff after that. It's my only hope.
Being a mom comes first and always has. There are days that I'm cool with that and days where I think I will go crazy if I spend one more day here. I get frustrated at the sacrifices that I have had to make the last 8 years but I know I wouldn't have done anything differently. (Well, I would have gotten my nursing degree the first time around, but I'm talking since becoming a mom.) I feel bad that I let myself be so sad about this small change, but for some reason I just felt the weight of all 8 years on me and I started to spiral down.
I knew I needed to get refocused quickly. I still have an anatomy class I need to ace and I didn't want to make my family miserable for the next year and a half. You may think I'm crazy but suddenly I wanted something and thinking about it made me happy. I found a picture of it and sent it to Jason...a few dozen times. Each time I did I felt better and better and was able to study on my lab practical. Later Jason told me to get over it and I started to sink again. It turns out he wanted to surprise me with it.
I have my lab practical tomorrow. It's worth 100 points and is all fill in the blank and labeling. These are tougher than the lecture exams usually, but I think I'm ready now. I'll post my results and a picture of my surprise this weekend.
I knew in the back of my head that I would most likely not push it to get in that early. Willow had just turned one and the program is full time and intense. I had 4 non-program classes I needed to take. I knew I could stretch the classes out and pace myself to graduate at the right time. But once I got going I really wanted to speed this up and get a job as soon as possible. I made a compromise goal of waiting one and half years and graduating a semester earlier. I settled into that plan even though I always wondered how I was going to make it work.
If you read the last blog post, you know that Luke's full day kindergarten fell through and plans have changed. There is no healthy way of starting the nursing program full time while Luke is in half-day kindergarten. I have to wait that extra semester and will start the program in the fall of 2010. I will take my chemistry class this fall and my microbiology class next spring. This was the way it was supposed to be in the beginning so I'm trying to not be upset about it. The thing is, it's not just the nursing thing that's frustrating, it's also the half-day thing. When Abby was in half-day kindergarten, the sign-ups were at 9am. I went there at 9am and they said the morning classes filled up before 8am. I was mad at the system but I dealt with it because I knew I was flexible as a stay-at-home mom and it meant I could sleep in. But as the weeks went by, I found I was absolutely miserable with the schedule. I couldn't leave the house and that wore on me. If Luke is going to be in half-day this fall, I am getting to the school at 7am to get him in the morning class. That way he can ride the bus with Abby and I can pick him up at noon and be free to do stuff after that. It's my only hope.
Being a mom comes first and always has. There are days that I'm cool with that and days where I think I will go crazy if I spend one more day here. I get frustrated at the sacrifices that I have had to make the last 8 years but I know I wouldn't have done anything differently. (Well, I would have gotten my nursing degree the first time around, but I'm talking since becoming a mom.) I feel bad that I let myself be so sad about this small change, but for some reason I just felt the weight of all 8 years on me and I started to spiral down.
I knew I needed to get refocused quickly. I still have an anatomy class I need to ace and I didn't want to make my family miserable for the next year and a half. You may think I'm crazy but suddenly I wanted something and thinking about it made me happy. I found a picture of it and sent it to Jason...a few dozen times. Each time I did I felt better and better and was able to study on my lab practical. Later Jason told me to get over it and I started to sink again. It turns out he wanted to surprise me with it.
I have my lab practical tomorrow. It's worth 100 points and is all fill in the blank and labeling. These are tougher than the lecture exams usually, but I think I'm ready now. I'll post my results and a picture of my surprise this weekend.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Just forget it.
I'm pretty sure we can just forget everything I've said. I did some research and found out that Warrick county is out of money and will not be starting full-day kindergarten in the fall like they had originally thought. That means I will need to be home around 11:30 to get Luke lunch and ready and out the door by 12:05 to have him at school by 12:15. Then I have to be home again by 3:30 to get them off the bus. Yankeetown is out in the middle of nowhere in the opposite direction of civilization. When I took Abby to half-day kindergarten I was miserable. I felt like a prisoner the entire year because I couldn't leave the house to do anything. There wasn't time. I hated it and I can't believe I have to do that again now. There's just no way I can start the school of nursing in the spring. Just forget the whole thing. What a waste of time. The next time I get excited about something, just punch me really hard in the stomach. It will feel better than this.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Thinking about summer
Nothing much new in class. We learned about the fetal cardiovascular system. It makes sense that it would be different. Our blood is routed through our lungs to pick up oxygen. Babies not yet born do not have oxygen in their lungs. They get it from their moms through the placenta and umbilical cord. So they have some extra veins and openings that we don't keep after birth. It was pretty cool.
One big event of the day is an answer to a big question. After anatomy 101 and 102, I have two more science classes that I need to take. I could technically start the school of nursing this fall but I'm intentionally slowing myself down since I want a little extra time with Willow. Actually, I'm just adding a semester so it's not much. But I want to get both of the science classes done before I start nursing. I have been thinking a lot about which one to take this summer and which to take in the fall. The summer class would last the entire summer from the first week of June to the first week of August and would meet two days a week for 4 hours a day. That was really bothering me because I want to spend lots of time with the kids this summer. I feel like the clock is ticking. Abby is getting so old so fast. Luke will be in school all day from the fall until he moves out as a grown up. That's crazy. Soon I will be in school all week and then working 36 hours a week. I want to savor our last few summers together. That class would take up a lot of my time and my focus.
I talked to some friends (the four) at school and looked through an old schedule and I discovered the answer. One of the classes, intro to chemistry, is a hybrid class that only meets the last 8 weeks of the semester; but it's a lot crammed in. That's funny. I thought that's what it would be during the summer. If I can do that in the fall, that would be much better. I can take both the microbiology and the hybrid chemistry at the same time and only be doubled up the last half. I think I can handle that, especially since the last half is when it's cold and yucky outside and Luke will be in school. I'll have plenty of time. It all makes perfect sense now and I'm so glad to have that big question off of my shoulders.
That frees up my summer also to get prepared for my TEAS test. I think I spelled that right. It's a test I need to take to get into the school of nursing. I'll write more about that when it gets closer. I'll also have some time to paint some rooms in my house and take the kids to Holiday World. Now, If I could just get through the rest of the winter.
One big event of the day is an answer to a big question. After anatomy 101 and 102, I have two more science classes that I need to take. I could technically start the school of nursing this fall but I'm intentionally slowing myself down since I want a little extra time with Willow. Actually, I'm just adding a semester so it's not much. But I want to get both of the science classes done before I start nursing. I have been thinking a lot about which one to take this summer and which to take in the fall. The summer class would last the entire summer from the first week of June to the first week of August and would meet two days a week for 4 hours a day. That was really bothering me because I want to spend lots of time with the kids this summer. I feel like the clock is ticking. Abby is getting so old so fast. Luke will be in school all day from the fall until he moves out as a grown up. That's crazy. Soon I will be in school all week and then working 36 hours a week. I want to savor our last few summers together. That class would take up a lot of my time and my focus.
I talked to some friends (the four) at school and looked through an old schedule and I discovered the answer. One of the classes, intro to chemistry, is a hybrid class that only meets the last 8 weeks of the semester; but it's a lot crammed in. That's funny. I thought that's what it would be during the summer. If I can do that in the fall, that would be much better. I can take both the microbiology and the hybrid chemistry at the same time and only be doubled up the last half. I think I can handle that, especially since the last half is when it's cold and yucky outside and Luke will be in school. I'll have plenty of time. It all makes perfect sense now and I'm so glad to have that big question off of my shoulders.
That frees up my summer also to get prepared for my TEAS test. I think I spelled that right. It's a test I need to take to get into the school of nursing. I'll write more about that when it gets closer. I'll also have some time to paint some rooms in my house and take the kids to Holiday World. Now, If I could just get through the rest of the winter.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I take back all the nice things I said...
Friday's class was pretty uneventful. I printed off my first copies in the library. That's sort of weird because I had to pay cash to put credit on my student ID. Then I used my ID to get the printer to work. At least now I know and can mark that one off my list of things to do as a student.
Jason and I rode together in the van because of the icy roads. I dropped him off which means he couldn't bring me lunch. I had lunch with Terri and Laura of "the 4". I stuffed myself with an enormous tray of nachos. That has to be the only edible food there that doesn't come out of a machine.
In lab we talked about blood typing. I found it fascinating...honestly.
I'm O+. That means I have no A or B antigens on my red blood cells but I do have a D antigen (the +). That also means that I have antibodies towards A and B and my body would reject A or B blood like an illness. I can only have O blood. People with A have a B antibody so they can't have any B blood and vice versa. Since I don't have A or B antigens, I can donate to either. People with AB don't have those antibodies so they can have A, B and O blood. The + and - is a D antigen or lack of and the case is the same. Also, A and B are dominant genes and O is recessive. I love this stuff. What's your blood type, anybody?
Halfway through lab we took a field trip to the other lab. We are studying 5 kinds of white blood cells and there is a good poster of them in that lab Dr. Murphy wanted us to see. While we were there, Pam (not a doctor) Puckett of 101 fame came in. Dr. Murphy told her why we were there and she generously said we could take a poster to save her the trip. She couldn't untape the first one so she came to the one by me and I helped her get the tape off. I then offered to carry it back. Mind you, this is a somewhat old, laminated poster. When I reached out to receive it, Pam (not a doctor) jerked it back and said in a gruff tone, "No, Jamie will take it." I looked at Terri and her mouth dropped open. Pam (not a doctor) squeezed around me and took it to Dr Murphy (Jamie) and handed it to her despite the fact that she had her hands full of blood samples for our lab work. Terri and I left and Dr. Murphy came out in the hall and jokingly said, "Anybody want to carry this?" I pulled my hands back and said, "No way, I'm not allowed." We joked the rest of the walk back about how she still has no idea who we are after all of last semester. But by the end of lab I was starting to feel less funny and more hurt. That's just not how you treat people, whether you are in a position of authority or not. Teachers in middle school don't even talk to kids like that and last time I checked, we were both adults. What was I going to do with a poster of white blood cells, sell it on ebay for $2.00? It was ridiculous. I take back all the nice things I said about her in her defense. Someday I'm going to be a nurse (making more money than her) and she's going to get older and sick and need the help of some of these nursing students that's she's alienated and angered over the years. I guess she hasn't thought that far ahead. As Michael Scott says, "Business is the most personal thing there is and people will never go out of business." Okay, that may not apply very well, but it's what I thought of and I'm terrible with quotes. When in Rome...
Jason and I rode together in the van because of the icy roads. I dropped him off which means he couldn't bring me lunch. I had lunch with Terri and Laura of "the 4". I stuffed myself with an enormous tray of nachos. That has to be the only edible food there that doesn't come out of a machine.
In lab we talked about blood typing. I found it fascinating...honestly.
I'm O+. That means I have no A or B antigens on my red blood cells but I do have a D antigen (the +). That also means that I have antibodies towards A and B and my body would reject A or B blood like an illness. I can only have O blood. People with A have a B antibody so they can't have any B blood and vice versa. Since I don't have A or B antigens, I can donate to either. People with AB don't have those antibodies so they can have A, B and O blood. The + and - is a D antigen or lack of and the case is the same. Also, A and B are dominant genes and O is recessive. I love this stuff. What's your blood type, anybody?
Halfway through lab we took a field trip to the other lab. We are studying 5 kinds of white blood cells and there is a good poster of them in that lab Dr. Murphy wanted us to see. While we were there, Pam (not a doctor) Puckett of 101 fame came in. Dr. Murphy told her why we were there and she generously said we could take a poster to save her the trip. She couldn't untape the first one so she came to the one by me and I helped her get the tape off. I then offered to carry it back. Mind you, this is a somewhat old, laminated poster. When I reached out to receive it, Pam (not a doctor) jerked it back and said in a gruff tone, "No, Jamie will take it." I looked at Terri and her mouth dropped open. Pam (not a doctor) squeezed around me and took it to Dr Murphy (Jamie) and handed it to her despite the fact that she had her hands full of blood samples for our lab work. Terri and I left and Dr. Murphy came out in the hall and jokingly said, "Anybody want to carry this?" I pulled my hands back and said, "No way, I'm not allowed." We joked the rest of the walk back about how she still has no idea who we are after all of last semester. But by the end of lab I was starting to feel less funny and more hurt. That's just not how you treat people, whether you are in a position of authority or not. Teachers in middle school don't even talk to kids like that and last time I checked, we were both adults. What was I going to do with a poster of white blood cells, sell it on ebay for $2.00? It was ridiculous. I take back all the nice things I said about her in her defense. Someday I'm going to be a nurse (making more money than her) and she's going to get older and sick and need the help of some of these nursing students that's she's alienated and angered over the years. I guess she hasn't thought that far ahead. As Michael Scott says, "Business is the most personal thing there is and people will never go out of business." Okay, that may not apply very well, but it's what I thought of and I'm terrible with quotes. When in Rome...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Optimism anyone?
After the second day of class I am starting to feel even more optimistic. I really like the new teacher. She stayed to chat with the "four" after class again. The "four" is this group of women that were somehow drawn together last semester and ended up together this semester. We sit together in the labs now and are (and were last semester) the last four to leave every week. This week after talking to Dr. Murphy for awhile we ended up talking in the hallway for a half an hour. As it turns out we are all Christians, or more specifically, we believe that Jesus is the Son of God and through him we each have a real relationship with an otherwise unattainable God. My question now is, did God bring us together for a purpose or were we just drawn to each other because we are different? I think both, somehow. I enjoy seeing these women each week and they are all smart and hard-working. What's so great about that is that we help each other and seem to make each other better. Also, we can trust each other. I know none of them would cheat, quit, etc. They each sincerely care about learning everything they can in this short time we have. I have also discovered that some people in the class do read the textbook. For some reason that makes me feel better.
I have a new found hope in the future of nursing.
I have a new found hope in the future of nursing.
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