Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Good talk.

I finally got my grade back from my test. 119. I'm not happy with that. I know of one that I missed that I think I should have gotten credit for, but I have no idea what the others were. I'm afraid they were stupid mistakes. I confess I did not go back over my test. I lost all concentration and just wanted to get out of there and get to class. I already had a late start. I had made an appointment to take the test at 9am. I got there and signed in at 9:02. There were two people in front of me. Neither one of them had made an appointment and one of those people didn't know her class number or professor's name and she didn't have a student ID. Needless to say, she took awhile. I, on the other hand, had the appointment, the ID and all the necessary info, yet I had to wait until almost 9:15 to be called. I was supposed to get 60 minutes to take the test but after the test I still had to drive over to the other building and get to my class before 10. I sort of rushed through it. I should have double checked my answers.

Once I got to class I asked about two of the questions on the test. On one, I pointed out what I knew to be the answer but was not sure which choice was referring to the answer and I told her I made a note of it on the test because I would have asked her about it had I taken the test in class. She didn't care. So I know I missed that one. The other one I asked about was one where we had to choose the one that is not an answer. I had read the chapter and knew all four choices were right so I didn't know how to answer. She agreed that technically I was right but it was not the way it was on the power point slide. So she gave everybody 2 points but made sure I knew it was nit-picking. I disagree, but enough on that. I could tell Dr. Murphy was mad and somewhat defensive again so it was time to back off.

Other than that, class was uneventful. I got a hug from Terri and talked with the girls about my mom. One of the students from the early lab said there would be no lab quiz. Good. I hadn't studied for that at all. Then I met Jason for lunch and went to lab.

In lab we grouped up and did some respiratory exercises and experiments. I was the guinea pig for hyperventilating and hypoventilating. After hyperventilating, I was able to hold my breath for 78 seconds. Not too shabby, I suppose. Actually, I have no idea what is good. Then I hypoventilated (breathed into a bag to limit oxygen) and I held my breath for 57 seconds. The next day I had a pain in my side. I wonder if it was connected.

After lab, Dr. Murphy approached me to tell me she wasn't mad at me but at two girls who had come to class and then told her they hadn't taken the test. She was mad that they had all week to make arrangements. I said, "Since you are being honest with me, I'll be honest with you. I was a little afraid of you." I told her I felt like I wasn't supposed to talk with her about the test but she said this is her first time making tests and she knows she'll make mistakes. We also got a chance to explain to her why not knowing who made the test really screwed us up on the first test. I still sensed some controlled defensiveness. But we told her we are all nerds who are sort of obsessed about getting an A in this class and we have a lot of competition. It was good to get the communication lines open again. I think it really helped all of us.

I have a lab practical this Friday. The content is probably the easiest we've had so far. But I know one fact, never underestimate your opponent.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Let me sum up...

A lot has happened since my last post. That Friday in class we did not get our tests back. Dr. Murphy wanted to get through every slide before the next test. So we still did not know what went wrong. I wanted to ask Dr. Murphy about the test, but she seemed a bit angry and defensive in class and I felt like it was a bad time to bring it up. I'm guessing she had been harassed about the test already so I left it alone.

My plan was to start studying for the next test on Monday afternoon. I had no idea my life was about to change forever. My beautiful mother passed away Monday morning. My family and my sister's family stayed together with my dad all week. Our closeness is the only thing that made the week survivable. We were like a tripod.

Needless to say, I did not study for my test and I did not go to class Friday. Dr. Murphy was very helpful. She sent the test to the workforce training center and said I could take it anytime this week. She also arranged with Pam Puckett for me to attend lab on Saturday.

I went to that Saturday lab. It sucked. We had to run some experiments in pairs based on where we were sitting. After getting the instructions, I went to my "partner" and introduced myself. She said, "Okay, I've taken 102 before so I'm just going to make sure it's the same as last time and just copy it." She didn't even tell me her name. So I started the experiment on my own. I had to wait a long time in line just to get to the table with the stuff I needed. While in line, I saw the lady flipping through my notes. Some other people doing the same experiment as me decided to do it where I had been sitting (but was now waiting in line) and they left the stuff right there. So as soon as they got done I was able to have my spot back and get started. What's funny is that my no-name "partner" decided to work with those other people. She basically blew me off because she didn't know me and went to another pair to work as a threesome while I worked alone. I waited the allotted 30 minutes for the results only to be reminded by Pam that we were not supposed to use the original stuff but the new stuff. I had used the old stuff because that was what the other people had left for me. I had totally screwed up and wasted all that time. Pam said we had to time to start over but I was upset and fighting some emotions so I just left. I got the info I needed, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

I'm planning on taking last week's test this Friday morning before class. My friends, the 4, said that this test lines up a lot more with what we talked about in class. There are also 5 bonus questions, thanks to Michelle having the guts to ask for them. Michelle also mentioned that in Friday's class they finally discussed the last test. Apparently two questions were wrong so everybody got an extra four points. That puts my grade at a 112, which is an A. It's not a 125, but it will do.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I don't know what happened...

I'm not really sure what happened. It's kind of a blur now. I remember our teacher telling us right before handing out the tests that she looked at the test she was supposed to give us and decided she didn't like it so she wrote her own. I studied Pam's study guide, the online flashcards and online notes, took online tests and did online labeling exercises. These are the things I did last semester when I aced the tests. I also studied the chapter objectives given in the syllabus because that is what Dr. Murphy told us to focus on. In fact, my problem is that I studied too many things. I had no focus. So instead of learning a few things really well, I learned a lot of things sort of well. I was having a hard time focusing the entire week I studied. Things weren't sticking and I was starting to get stuff mixed up in my head. I'm not smart enough to memorize or understand an entire chapter (two chapters for the test). So when she said she wrote the test I didn't know what to expect.

Once I started the test I realized I was in trouble. Last semester I took each test in 10 minutes and spent 5 minutes double checking (and never changing a single answer). This time I spent probably 20 minutes taking the test and 10 minutes going over it and changing a couple of answers because I had completely misread the question. I even guessed on a few. Some of the questions came out of left field. There were things I don't remember ever seeing on any of the stuff I studied and some things I remember just glossing over in lecture but there it was on the test. I found that several remarkably complicated subjects that we were told specifically by Dr. Murphy to know were completely absent from the test. These were things I spent time studying at the expense of other, more obscure things that I did find on the test. (Some examples, there was a question about the vagus nerve speeding up or slowing down the heart. I couldn't remember if the vagus nerve was sympathetic or parasympathetic. That was from last semester. So I guessed wrong. I looked back and couldn't find a reference to the vagus nerve in the chapter objectives, Pam's study guide or class power point slides. Why was this on the test? If it is important, why wasn't it emphasized in class or the text? We were told to know the clotting factors for extrinsic and intrinsic clotting. That was really complicated to learn. They were not on there. I learned the plasma proteins and their function. She only asked what organ produced them. I don't understand how that is more important.)

I haven't seen the test yet to really figure out what went wrong. I just know I got 108 out of 120 and there were no bonus points. That's a 90%, a B. Looking back I know I could have studied harder, but there was no way I could have known what to study short of memorizing the entire chapter (and I would love to do that). There were just enough obscure questions to throw my grade to a B. What really frustrates me is that my friends, the 4, are really smart. They all got A's last semester. They all got B's on this test. I saw how they studied and worked each week. They deserved A's. Their grades do not reflect what they really learned. And they need A's in this class to get into the school of nursing this fall. Something just isn't right here. I don't know what else to say.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Surprise!



This is my consolation prize for losing a semester of school and a year of my life to house arrest. Her name for now is Sunny. I know that name is boring and not at all funny and clever like I had hoped. It is, however, warm, happy and simple. I guess we'll keep that name until something better comes up. She's 4 months old according to the Vanderburgh Humane Society. She seems to go back and forth between affection and fear. She hasn't eaten or used her litter box yet and she seems to be really tired right now. I'll try to get a better picture of her when she comes out from behind the dryer. She tried to take a nap under Abby's bed but Abby crawled under there with her and read her a long book. I decided to just leave her alone, but I'll admit I'm a little sad that we didn't hit it off right away. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

As for the lab practical, it seems I got 105 out of 100. I really thought I had missed something. I actually went over all of my answers twice just to make sure because this stuff is easy to get mixed up. Anyway, I'm happy.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

New Plan

I was pretty upset Tuesday, if you couldn't tell. When I decided to go back to school, my original plan was to graduate just before Willow, my youngest, started kindergarten. That specifically meant graduating in the spring of 2012. I wasn't sure how many classes would be required of me to get to that point. I didn't even know how the nursing program worked at all. I just went to the orientation for information. I talked to everyone willing to talk and discovered that I could theoretically start the program after one year of pre-requisites. I got pretty excited and filled out an application that day.

I knew in the back of my head that I would most likely not push it to get in that early. Willow had just turned one and the program is full time and intense. I had 4 non-program classes I needed to take. I knew I could stretch the classes out and pace myself to graduate at the right time. But once I got going I really wanted to speed this up and get a job as soon as possible. I made a compromise goal of waiting one and half years and graduating a semester earlier. I settled into that plan even though I always wondered how I was going to make it work.

If you read the last blog post, you know that Luke's full day kindergarten fell through and plans have changed. There is no healthy way of starting the nursing program full time while Luke is in half-day kindergarten. I have to wait that extra semester and will start the program in the fall of 2010. I will take my chemistry class this fall and my microbiology class next spring. This was the way it was supposed to be in the beginning so I'm trying to not be upset about it. The thing is, it's not just the nursing thing that's frustrating, it's also the half-day thing. When Abby was in half-day kindergarten, the sign-ups were at 9am. I went there at 9am and they said the morning classes filled up before 8am. I was mad at the system but I dealt with it because I knew I was flexible as a stay-at-home mom and it meant I could sleep in. But as the weeks went by, I found I was absolutely miserable with the schedule. I couldn't leave the house and that wore on me. If Luke is going to be in half-day this fall, I am getting to the school at 7am to get him in the morning class. That way he can ride the bus with Abby and I can pick him up at noon and be free to do stuff after that. It's my only hope.

Being a mom comes first and always has. There are days that I'm cool with that and days where I think I will go crazy if I spend one more day here. I get frustrated at the sacrifices that I have had to make the last 8 years but I know I wouldn't have done anything differently. (Well, I would have gotten my nursing degree the first time around, but I'm talking since becoming a mom.) I feel bad that I let myself be so sad about this small change, but for some reason I just felt the weight of all 8 years on me and I started to spiral down.

I knew I needed to get refocused quickly. I still have an anatomy class I need to ace and I didn't want to make my family miserable for the next year and a half. You may think I'm crazy but suddenly I wanted something and thinking about it made me happy. I found a picture of it and sent it to Jason...a few dozen times. Each time I did I felt better and better and was able to study on my lab practical. Later Jason told me to get over it and I started to sink again. It turns out he wanted to surprise me with it.

I have my lab practical tomorrow. It's worth 100 points and is all fill in the blank and labeling. These are tougher than the lecture exams usually, but I think I'm ready now. I'll post my results and a picture of my surprise this weekend.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Just forget it.

I'm pretty sure we can just forget everything I've said. I did some research and found out that Warrick county is out of money and will not be starting full-day kindergarten in the fall like they had originally thought. That means I will need to be home around 11:30 to get Luke lunch and ready and out the door by 12:05 to have him at school by 12:15. Then I have to be home again by 3:30 to get them off the bus. Yankeetown is out in the middle of nowhere in the opposite direction of civilization. When I took Abby to half-day kindergarten I was miserable. I felt like a prisoner the entire year because I couldn't leave the house to do anything. There wasn't time. I hated it and I can't believe I have to do that again now. There's just no way I can start the school of nursing in the spring. Just forget the whole thing. What a waste of time. The next time I get excited about something, just punch me really hard in the stomach. It will feel better than this.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Thinking about summer

Nothing much new in class. We learned about the fetal cardiovascular system. It makes sense that it would be different. Our blood is routed through our lungs to pick up oxygen. Babies not yet born do not have oxygen in their lungs. They get it from their moms through the placenta and umbilical cord. So they have some extra veins and openings that we don't keep after birth. It was pretty cool.

One big event of the day is an answer to a big question. After anatomy 101 and 102, I have two more science classes that I need to take. I could technically start the school of nursing this fall but I'm intentionally slowing myself down since I want a little extra time with Willow. Actually, I'm just adding a semester so it's not much. But I want to get both of the science classes done before I start nursing. I have been thinking a lot about which one to take this summer and which to take in the fall. The summer class would last the entire summer from the first week of June to the first week of August and would meet two days a week for 4 hours a day. That was really bothering me because I want to spend lots of time with the kids this summer. I feel like the clock is ticking. Abby is getting so old so fast. Luke will be in school all day from the fall until he moves out as a grown up. That's crazy. Soon I will be in school all week and then working 36 hours a week. I want to savor our last few summers together. That class would take up a lot of my time and my focus.

I talked to some friends (the four) at school and looked through an old schedule and I discovered the answer. One of the classes, intro to chemistry, is a hybrid class that only meets the last 8 weeks of the semester; but it's a lot crammed in. That's funny. I thought that's what it would be during the summer. If I can do that in the fall, that would be much better. I can take both the microbiology and the hybrid chemistry at the same time and only be doubled up the last half. I think I can handle that, especially since the last half is when it's cold and yucky outside and Luke will be in school. I'll have plenty of time. It all makes perfect sense now and I'm so glad to have that big question off of my shoulders.

That frees up my summer also to get prepared for my TEAS test. I think I spelled that right. It's a test I need to take to get into the school of nursing. I'll write more about that when it gets closer. I'll also have some time to paint some rooms in my house and take the kids to Holiday World. Now, If I could just get through the rest of the winter.